Disneyland in the Early Days

As a child, the most wonderful thing in the world—besides Christmas and our summer vacations with The Bradens—was a trip to Disneyland.  I went almost every year and sometimes twice.  If we had out of town guests visiting in the summer, it meant a trip to Disneyland with a late stay to watch the fireworks over the Magic Castle.  My father would offer a quarter to the first kid in the car who could spot the Matterhorn from the freeway that led to Anaheim.   I was pretty good at winning the prize.  On the way home, I would be dead asleep in the back of the station wagon.

When my sister and I went with our parents and family friends, we could roam the park at will, as long as we met on time at the designated spot.  We had no fear of kidnapping, molestation or being abducted into a prostitution ring.  We never feared of being raped on Tom Sawyer’s Island at the back of a cave, or being hurled from an ill-maintained carnival ride.  We felt safe.  It never occurred to us to feel otherwise.

Once a year the park hosted a Girl Scout Day and Troop 2277 could enter a bit earlier than the masses and pay a discounted price for our coupon books full of tickets for all the rides.  At that time the rides were rated alphabetically.  The E rides were the best and descended from there.  The A rides were pretty dull.

The first and foremost thing to do on these Girl Scout mornings was to run.  I mean sprint like Valeri Borsov, Roger Bannister and Bruce Jenner before he joined up with the Kardashians.  To the Matterhorn.  In my early teens there was no Splash Mountain or Space Mountain.  The Matterhorn was IT.   There, in spite of our speed, a line would have formed.  The yodeling soundtrack was lilting cheerfully, and the lederhosen clad workers were smiling and escorting guests into the toboggans.  It was Switzerland without the avalanches and the private bank accounts.  Or so it seemed to a ten year old.

The next best ride at that time was the submarine. It pretended, thanks to many bubbles and sound effects, to take you underwater to see the delights of mermaids and fish.  Once the day began to get warm, it was time to go to the shady jungle ride where, after waiting in another long line, we would board a small boat and be assaulted by electronic crocodiles, a hippo and a whole lot of bad puns. 

As I got older, so did the park and new attractions appeared.  Suddenly, just off the jungle boat, one could be in Old New Orleans.  Here was The Pirates of the Caribbean ride through a cool and dark grotto.  Feisty animated wenches, tail wagging dogs and pirates knocking back the moonshine in jugs sang and romped through this fantasy world without AIDS or STDS.    Then came the Haunted Mansion and its elevator and holograms, the signing bears featuring “Big Al” and the mining car through the ore field.

I loved Frontierland and the fake shoot outs, the Mexican cantina where I could get a taco and Tom Sawyer’s island with its rope bridges and places for many a potential lawsuit in today’s world.   

I was also a sucker for Main Street.  I loved going into the old time grocery store and buying a sodium packed dill pickle the size of a fairly well endowed man.  I would poke a tiny whole in the plastic wrapper and drink the dill juice.  No comments please!  A few doors away I could watch Abraham Lincoln rise rather shakily to a stance and give a speech.  The pharmacy gave away free Upjohn vitamins; another store had a machine where you could press a penny into a memento.

Once our “good” tickets were used up we headed for Fantasyland and the Mad Tea Cups, the Monorail and the merry-go-round.  Some rides were just too dull,  Mr. Toad’s Ride only appealed to my hidden delight at the miniature world. I remember on my very last visit to Disneyland, almost twenty years ago, suffering through “It’s a Small World” twice because my young nephew liked it.  Also in this category were the paddleboat and the train that circled the park.  I usually saved a ticket for the train and the end to get me to the front gate.  Often, as people were leaving the park they would give their un-used tickets to people who were just entering.  In my case, they only got the A tickets.